In two stories, the heroine absolutely initiates the spankings. While in one of the stories the spankings are disciplinary and in one they aren't, in both stories the spankings are consensual. In ASKING FOR A SPANKING, Katy, well, asks her neighbor for a spanking:
"Hey, neighbor," Elliott said as he swung open the door. He smiled at her. God, he was cute. Did he have to be so cute?
Katy's stomach started making origami. She couldn't do this. She’d just…ask him if he'd gotten her Entertainment Weekly by mistake. Or ask to borrow a cup of sugar. Neighbors did that, right? Asked to borrow a cup of sugar.
"What's up?" he asked. He had to ask something, since she was standing there staring at him without speaking.
"I need a favor," Katy blurted.
"Sure," he said, without asking what it was. "Do you want to come in?"
"No," she said. "Yes," she corrected herself quickly. "I guess."
He swung the door wider and stepped back so she could walk inside. You can still ask him for that sugar or the non-existent lost mail, she told himself as she moved past him, her arm brushing against his. He had muscle-y biceps for an academic. And his hands were big, she noted, her stomach picking up the pace on whatever it was folding itself into.
"So, what can I do for you?"
She'd been staring again. Staring at those big hands of his. Did she really want him to… No, but she needed him to. Him or somebody, and she trusted him. She didn't know him well, but somehow she knew that.
"Look, this is a crazy thing to ask. But I need help. And I don't know many people here yet." She'd moved to town for a job only a couple months ago. "And you seem like somebody I can trust. I mean, you recycle. You never even put one plastic bottle in the regular bin." They shared a garbage can too. "And you always throw the little kids next door their ball back, even when it's come over, like, a hundred times. Anyway, I thought I could ask you this favor."
Suddenly, her train of words ran out of steam. This had seemed like a good idea at home. Or at least a necessary solution.
"Just ask, Katy," Elliott urged. "I'm glad you thought of me when you needed something. I've been meaning to ask you over for a glass of wine or something. It's just a crazy time of the semester."
Katy shoved her hair away from her face. “I’m having some trouble getting myself motivated. With…god, everything. I just. I don’t know why, but when I tell myself to do something like pay bills, I end up watching Grey’s Anatomy, which, actually, has gotten good again, or talking to one of my friends of the phone, or, and this is really bad, doing on line shopping, which just leads to more bills… And the bills, they’re only part of the problem. Basically, I’m a mess.”
“Take a breath,” Elliott suggested. “And have a seat.” He gestured toward the couch and sat down in the chair across from it. “It can be hard when you’re first really out on your own. Do you need help with budgeting? I have some software I could set up on your computer.”
“It’s not that.” Katy flopped down on the couch. “I have software. I have a filing system. A day planner. An online calendar. All that. I don’t have… What I don’t have is self-discipline. And, um, I thought, that’s what I thought you maybe could help me with. My friend Maddy, her boyfriend, he, uh, he spanks her if she doesn’t do what she’s supposed to do. And she says it really works! And I don’t have a boyfriend, so… Maybe it’s a stupid idea. I’ve never been spanked, ever. Well, maybe a couple swats when I was really little. I’m just desperate, and Maddy swore it would work, and—“
“Breathe,” Elliott said again. He frowned a little. “So, just to make sure I’m understanding this, you want me to help you be less of a mess, I think it what you called it, by spanking you if you don’t fulfill your obligations.” He adjusted his horn-rim glasses.
Katy forced herself to meet his gaze. It was hard. She could feel her face flushing. Her bottom felt like it was heating up too, even though all they were doing was talking about a spanking. “Yes,” she told him. “Is that something you’d be willing to do?”
Elliott shoved his fingers through his dark hair. “I think there must be other ways that would be effective. If you just need someone to be accountable to, you can make a commitment to me, and—“
Katy shook her head. “It won’t be enough. I know it. I know myself.” She stood up. “I can find someone else. Maddy said there are some sites online where—“
“You are not going to ask some stranger you find online to spank you,” Elliott interrupted, and there was an edge of anger in his voice. “That’s foolish. And dangerous. You should be spanked right now for even thinking about it.”
Katy’s throat went dry. Her cute neighbor professor with the great smile had gone all stern and hard-eyed. Looking at him right now, she suddenly thought maybe asking him to spank her wasn’t such a good idea. He might take the whole thing way too seriously. Which was what she wanted, she guessed. Well, what she needed. But it was way too easy to imagine him truly disciplining her. “I should probably try making a schedule for myself.”
“Good idea.” Elliott stood and strode over to his big maple desk. He opened the top drawer and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. He checked his watch. “It’s seven o’clock. Tell me what you want to accomplish in the next two hours.”
“Tonight? I was thinking of starting in—“
“Tonight. In two hours, I don’t think it should be any problem to pay those bills you were talking about, and get your checkbook in order,” Elliott said. “I’ll come check on you at ten. If you haven’t finished, then you’ll be punished.”
“I-- Tonight isn’t—“ Katy stammered.
“If you want my help, I’ll give it to you. But it’ll be on my terms,” Elliott told her. “We’ll come up with a list of tasks for you to complete every day. If you don’t, you’ll be spanked. If you’ve changed your mind, fine. But there’s no changing your mind after you leave here, at least not, let’s say, for the next week. That’s enough time to give this system a fair trial.”
He wrote rapidly on the pad and handed it over to Katy. It outlined the terms he’d just laid out. She completed the tasks they agreed upon each day for the next week. He would be in charge of disciplining her as he saw fit, which would include spanking. “Sign it, if it’s still what you want.”
Katy nibbled on her bottom lip. Then she snatched the pen and pad and signed her name with big, looping letters. It didn’t matter. He wouldn’t have to spank her. The knowledge that it was a possibility was all she’d need to motivate herself. She’d be a good girl from now on, no problem.
While in TAKEN IN HAND, Gigi actually has decided to give herself a birthday present and buy herself a spanking at a a place called Real Fantasies. She ends up bolting and later that night, she ends up talking about it--to the man who was supposed to have spanked her:
Gigi took a swallow of her chocolate martini. She realized her glass was half empty—and that she hadn’t actually tasted any of what was usually her favorite drink. Worse, the alcohol hadn’t even started to dim the memory of the afternoon’s humiliation. She was pretty sure there wasn’t enough alcohol in the world.
Almost as if he could read her mind—and wanted to prove her wrong—the waiter brought her another martini, this one with an extra Hershey’s kiss on top. “I didn’t or—“ Gigi began.
“He did,” the bartender interrupted, nodding to a man at the other end of the bar. Oh, no. No, no, no. It couldn’t be-- But it was. The man who’d just bought her a drink? He was the man Gigi had hired to give her a spanking that afternoon. Which was so embarrassing. Even more embarrassing? Gigi hadn’t been able to go through with it. He’d ordered her over his knee in that perfect sexy-stern voice of his, and Gigi had immediately blurted out her safe word and bolted.
Gigi dropped her eyes to the bar. Now what was she supposed to do? Send the drink back? Pretend she didn’t recognize him? It was sort of possible. She’d only been in the room with him from about four minutes, but it was impossible she could have forgotten his face. She’d stared at it every day since she’d placed her order with Real Fantasies, booking a spanking with Anthony. Which probably wasn’t his real name.
She allowed herself a quick glance in what’s-his-name’s direction. Her stomach rolled over. He wasn’t sitting at the other end of the bar anymore. He was walking toward her, one side of his mouth quirked up in a lopsided smile. He sat down next to her without asking permission. “Hi.”
“Uh, hi,” Gigi mumbled. Just kill me now, she thought. Kill. Me. Now. She finished her first martini in one long gulp, then moved on to the one he’d bought her.
Anthony—real name or not, that’s how she thought of him—shook his head. “Slow down,” he advised. His smile grew a little bigger. “You know, drinking that way shows a lack of discipline. Keep at it like that, and I might have to spank you.” His voice was sexy-teasing, not sexy-stern the way it had been in the role-playing session she’d abandoned.
She was not in the mood to be teased. She was not in the mood for anything except sitting by herself, trying to get drunk enough to blot out the afternoon. Gigi defiantly finished her second martini in two swigs, reminding herself that even though it tasted like the best chocolate milk ever, it did carry quite the kick. Which was a positive in the getting-drunk-enough-to-blot-out plan. “Look, I’ve had my full quota of humiliation for the day, all right?” She pulled a twenty out of her purse and thrust it at him. “For the drink.” She stood and started for the door. She’d the rest of her drinking from the mini-bar in her hotel.
“Hold up,” Anthony called. “Please.” He touched her arm, but didn’t try to physically stop her. Gigi turned to face him. “I wasn’t trying to humiliate you,” he said, and all Gigi saw in his dark brown eyes was sincerity. “I was just flirting a little. Or trying to. Sit with me a minute. I’m glad I ran into you. I always like to have a little post-session eval, especially if the safety word gets used.” He took the two steps to one of the small round tables. “Come on. Just for a minute.”
Gigi hesitated. But he had the face—the face that had filled her fantasies for more than a month. It’s not like her day could get any worse. And they were in public. There was nothing to be scared of. She sat down. Anthony sat across from her. “You want to tell me what happened at our appointment today?” He leaned toward her, voice low. “Was there something in the scenario that was different than you imagined it? Did I take it too fast? If there was something about me that didn’t click for you there are other guys to choose from. Even a few whose pics aren’t up on the site yet.”
“It wasn’t-- No. It was all fine. You were perfect. Fine. I just-- I panicked, I guess.” There was no other way to explain it. She’d fantasized about getting spanked for years, even though she’d never been able to tell a boyfriend that. When she’d come across the Real Fantasies site-- No, that made it sound like she’d just stumbled upon it, when it was actually a search for “erotic spanking” that had taken her there. And since she was there, she’d decided that once and for all she was going to find out if getting spanked was as hot and sexy as she’d imagined. She didn’t have a boyfriend at the moment. There was no way it could be considered cheating. So, she’d gotten out her credit card, picked out a scenario of an incompetent secretary getting spanked by her exasperated boss, and booked a session. A session she’d completely wimped out on.
“You’re not the first woman that’s happened to,” Anthony told her.
“But I signed up, I paid, I arranged it all,” Gigi said. “It was actually going to be my birthday present to myself.”
“I saw it was your birthday when I was reviewing your file after our session. Or non-session.” He ran his fingers through his thick hair. “Look, it’s not like signing up for a massage. Even when it’s just a role-playing thing, a spanking puts a woman in a vulnerable situation. I know from the info you put on your form this was going to be your first spanking ever, that you hadn’t even gotten a paddling when you were a kid. Were you afraid it would get too painful or was it that—“
Gigi buried her face—her flushed face—in her hands. “I can’t talk about this to you,” she mumbled. “Make than anyone. I can’t talk about this to anyone.”
“Sure you can. I’m a professional.” He gently pulled her hands down. "Come on. Tell me.”
She opened her lips, shut them, opened them again. “It’s just too embarrassing to sit her talking about how I want to be spanked. Who wants to be spanked? Seriously, what kind of woman wants a man to spank her?” She suddenly realized she’d said the word “spank” way too many times. Had anyone heard? She shot a look around the dimly lit bar. Didn’t seem like anyone had.
She also realized that she was blushing. Madly. Brightly The way only the milky skin of a redhead could. She was sure her face had been crimson since he playfully threatened to spank her over at the bar. Why, why, why did she have to be a blusher? Nothing to do about it though. She could hardly ask for an ice cube to rub over her flushed cheeks. “What is your name, anyway? Is it really Anthony? Who am I even talking to here?”
“Yes, it’s really Anthony. And to answer your other question--all kinds of women,” Anthony answered. “I’d be out of a job otherwise. You’ve been online. You know. It’s a completely common fantasy.” A waitress started toward them. Anthony waved her away. “I get it though. It wasn’t that different for me. I’m a good guy, you know. It felt a little weird to fantasize about spanking women. And, yeah, it’s something I fantasize about, not something I just do because someone pays me. I used think about it a lot. Who gets off on hurting someone? And spankings do hurt, although that’s not the big appeal, necessarily.”
“I didn’t think guys thought like that,” Gigi said, intensely curious. She’d never imagined a man might have reservations about his spanking fantasies.
“What? You think words like ‘abuse’ never enter a guy’s mind?” Anthony asked. “I mean sometimes when I look at a woman I’m attracted to my mind just goes there right off. I instantly envision her over my knee with her bottom bare. That’s something a lot of women wouldn’t want to know. So I keep it to myself. I even used to have girlfriends I never told about my true fantasies. I was sure—and maybe I was right—they’d run off screaming, thinking I was disgusting.”
“Used to? But not now?” Gigi asked.
“Now I don’t want to be with someone I can’t be honest with. Or who isn’t excited by something that’s insanely exciting to me. Fortunately, I discovered a while ago there are women who want to be spanked as much as I want to spank them.” He grinned. “What a wonderful world, huh?”
Gigi’s face began burning even hotter. She hadn’t thought it was possible. It wasn’t just embarrassment, although that was a big part of it. It was also that she was—admit it, Gigi, she ordered herself—getting excited too. Hearing him say the words “bare bottom” and “over the knee” had started up a burn low in her belly. Her clit was actually aching a little, just from words. Well, the words and the man who was speaking them. God, he was sexy.
“So here’s what I’m thinking,” Anthony told her. “I’m thinking it’s your birthday, and any woman who is into spanking should get one on her birthday. I know the guy who manages this place. I’m thinking I kick him out of his office for a little while and we take care of that.”
“Um.” Gigi’s heat went all hummingbird in her chest. Fear? Excitement? Both, she decided. She wanted to run. She wanted to say “yes.” She didn’t know what she wanted to do.
Anthony reached out and brushed a curly strand of her hair behind her ear. “I’m talking no big thing. No role playing. All clothes on. Just a little birthday fun.” He locked his eyes on hers. “You want this or you wouldn’t have made the appointment. It was brave of you. Just be a little braver.”
Gigi wanted to look away, or part of her did. But Anthony’s dark eyes were like magnets. All she could do was stare into them. She’d been fantasizing about him for weeks, and he’d turned out to be a complete sweetie. If she couldn’t do this now, with him, Anthony, who already knew what she wanted, when would it ever happen? Slowly she nodded. “Go talk to your friend.”
While Katy and Gigi do both actively go after their spankings, it doesn't mean they have all the control. In fact, once Katy's agreed to be disciplined by Elliott, she doesn't have any control left at all. He decides where and where she'll be spanked, what she'll be spanked with, what she'll be spanked for. Once one of Gigi's spankings has begun, Elliott is in charge of exactly what he'll do to her.
It's different with Anthony and Gigi though. Every single spanking he gives her in the story is "play," many with scenarios they've created together, and I liked how they talked to each other about what they liked about spanking. At one point he's ready to spank her for something he's truly angry about and she refuses him, though by the story's end, Gigi is ready to relinquish all control and move into a relationship where Anthony can give her true disciplinary spankings whenever he thinks she needs one. (Maybe I should revisit them in another story and see how it's working out!)
Every time I've been spanked it's been an Anthony-and-Gigi kind of spanking. I haven't been spanked for actual bad behavior, just bad behavior within a scenario. Of course, it's not like every move was scripted, or that once I was being spanked I was calling the shots, but I haven't had a true disciplinary spanking.
I enjoyed writing about both these relationships, and the ones I'll be talking about in future blogs where the spankings were non-consensual, but I don't feel ready to have a "real" spanking. Honestly, I don't know that it's ever something I'd want. Once when a guy I was thinking about playing with started talking about my weight and how it showed a "lack of discipline," it really bothered me. I didn't want to go there, even as the basis for something that would be mostly role-playing. (In role-playing, while it is usually about my bad behavior, it's not about the kind of bad behavior I engage in in my real life). He was surprised, because he was just trying to start a play session.
Anyone have any thoughts on play vs. real? Can you like and want both? Or is it hard to go from one to the other? If you've been playing with someone and creating scenarios together (without scripting the spanking to the point that there's no control given up) can you be truly disciplined by that same person in a different situation or are they always your playmate?
Just thinking about stuff...